To ride dressage is to dance with your horse, equal partners in the delicate and sometimes difficult work of creating harmony and beauty.

Wednesday, May 22, 2024

How do you solve a problem like Maria Stella?

The last time I posted anything about Stella was in March 2023. I know, I've been a very lax dressage blogger. That's because there hasn't been much to blog about. In short, despite countless hours spent caring for and riding Stella, many lessons with Suzan, and the three shows in which we've competed since my last post, it doesn't feel like we've made any progress. In fact, I think things have gotten worse. Oh, her training is farther along, but her tenseness has only increased, no matter what I've tried. Years ago when my first Morgan was young, a good friend told me that eight was the magic age for mental maturity in Morgans. Stella is now eight, and hotter than she's ever been. (That same friend now thinks I should try endurance riding with her, but that would take more time and hauling than I could fit into my life and I'm not convinced it would change anything.) Relaxation is foundational in dressage but is foreign to Stella, so there is no point in trying to show her anymore, or even take lessons. And while I persevere in working with her, I don't think either of us is having much fun.

Earlier this year I felt so hopeless that I called Suzan to get her advice. I'm not sure what I expected, but she surprised me by saying that Stella is the hottest horse she's ever worked with. She thinks that I'm doing an amazing job with her, and that anyone else would probably totally blow Stella's mind and ruin her. Said that breeding her might settle her mentally, but I don't have any interest in doing that. That suggestion did make me wonder out loud about putting Stella on Regu-Mate, and Suzan thought it was worth a try. Unfortunately, like the two 'calming supplements' I've tried, Regu-Mate didn't affect any change in Stella, so after a couple months I stopped using it.

I don't know how to solve a problem like Stella. Maybe a horse better suited to dressage will fall into my lap someday; maybe a guaranteed breeding-only home will open up for Stella. In the meantime I'll keep riding because that's who I am and it keeps my riding muscles in shape.

Looking through a year's worth of photos, below, gives me pleasure because she's just so beautiful, and makes me want to cry from frustration. Unless and until that changes, there will be no new posts here, because we are not dancing.






































16 comments:

Anonymous said...

This makes me super sad. I have enjoyed your blog and missed you. At the same it is easy to see that Stella’s temperament may not be a match with you desires and goals, and the understandable frustration in doing everything you can, and yet no real progress has to be discouraging. I hope you won’t give up. Maybe yes, on Stella as a dressage horse, but not on your hopes and dreams and definitely not wasting your talent. Maybe, by putting it out there that it’s just not working through no fault One of your own will open up some new doors. Maybe for both of you I hope you will post more :-)

Anonymous said...

I’m not a horse person at all but I’ve very much enjoyed reading your adventures with Stella. She is a beautiful, beautiful horse. I’m sad for both of you.

Michelle said...

Thanks to both of you for commenting; nice to know after all this time that people noticed that I had posted. To the first Anonymous, I'm not sure that Stella's temperament is well suited to ANY discipline, except maybe the endurance my friend suggested. Stella comes from Park Horse bloodlines and would certainly catch the eye of someone looking for a flashy mover for Park Horse or English Pleasure classes, but that is where Suzan thinks Stella's mind would be fried.

Alanna M said...

It's nice to see an update, even if it's not as happy as we would like. I do think you've done an amazing job with Stella. Hot and tense horses can be so difficult to chill out. You've done an amazing job with her and have continue beyond what many would have. She's gorgeous in the photos you posted. And I totally get not having time for endurance riding.

Michelle said...

Alanna, your kind words mean a lot. I've been pondering options for getting her out for miles of riding and haven't come up with any good ideas yet.

thecrazysheeplady said...

I am sorry you are so frustrated and disappointed. I completely understand. I'd really like to see you with a different horse, but what to do with her is a real challenge. :-/

Terry said...

I’m very sorry that Stella isn’t working out. I do not feel like breeding her would help. We foster a mare for our local horse rescue. She was a broodmare, and the year she failed to get pregnant, they dumped her at the livestock auction. Luckily, the rescue outbid the kill buyers, and she came to live with us. It has taken 2 years for her to transform into the confident, happy girl she is now. The first time my vet came out, she took one look at the vet truck and tried to jump out of her stall and run. She was terrified. My vet is a wonderful human, and he said the life of a broodmare is not a happy life. She had been abused. So no, I would not want lovely Stella to be a broodmare. Maybe she is slow to mature and just needs more time. Regardless, the best of luck to you both.

Michelle said...

Sara and Terry, since I believe we are to be good stewards of all in our care I can't just 'dump' Stella, and wouldn't even if a more suitable mount fell into my lap. So I will keep working with her and hope for better times ahead.

A :-) said...

A flibbertyjibbit, a will-'o-the-wisp . . . I know you must be heartbroken that Stella has just not settled the way you had hoped that she would. She's so beautiful, and you are such a beautiful pair together. I know how much you wanted her to be a wonderful dancing partner. I'm really sorry. I like what the first Anonymous poster said about you just having put it out there (here) on the page - you never know what that could open up for the Universe to bring you the partner you want. Or if Stella might finally just calm herself down. After she handily cleared your fence a few weeks ago, do you think maybe she's a jumper?? Is that even something you have any interest in at all?

It could also be that maybe now is the time for you to focus your energy on Poppy and the agility work that you guys are doing so well together. It's been my experience that stuff goes in cycles, but however it goes, I know you to be a good steward of your animals, and I know you will continue to work with Stella and maybe one day it will all just click for her. I know that doesn't make it any easier now, though.

MyGypsyLife said...

Hey friend!🌺 Yes I read your blog to keep up on your life which we may need to fix by a phone call one day! Well as you know with my hot horse it is a challenge for sure and sorry to read her temperament seems to not be as well suited for dressage. As you know Contessa just never really settled into that but her personality made her a great brave fun trail horse and of course jumping and eventing. But I know that is not your love. My thoughts? Trail ride her a lot. Take a break from the arena and just hack her out and have fun. Trailer to new places with a safe buddy… I needed to keep contessa from being bored, and arena work was boring for her..maybe with a little time to settle she will provide fun and maybe some new disciplines. Or ship her to Kauai and I will take care of her island style❤️❤️ xo Val

Michelle said...

Thanks for your kind words, A. Yes, Stella has always seemed willing to jump, but I'm not sure I want to go there. We'd need a different saddle, more equipment, and maybe a younger rider. 😉 I have 'put it out there' a tiny bit; we'll see what happens in the future.

Thanks, Val, my very first horse friend in Oregon (coming up on 35 years!!!). Stella is just as hot and tense on the trail, although if I will let her at least trot the entire time it helps. I think Kate is right; she'd probably make a great endurance horse. She does like to jump, but (see comment to A, above).... And as far as going places with a safe buddy, it seems all my riding friends have moved or retired from riding!

MyGypsyLife said...

Sigh I sure remember my challenges with Contessa. Could only ride with one other person at a time as she wanted to race with more than that, jig, flew around cross country courses. Endurance for sure might be an option. With C I had to get her energy out as you know, long trots did settle her down but she was always ready to fly. She seemed to mostly hate flat work and never seemed to “get it”, so as you well know we were stuck in BN forever! But she was fun! The most fun! So since I know you love Stella, competition may be off the books for now…I am riding a hot-ish little horse now and she thinks she is a TB…but is only 14.3! Easier to jump than a big one. Is she good with other horses? Might need to find some new friends to trail ride with!

Michelle said...

Val, competition may be off the books anyway; it's gotten so expensive. After I replied to your first comment, I reached out to the one local person I know who has a horse and has done some endurance riding, and she doesn't have anyone to ride with, either. So we are making plans and I'm getting excited; if I'm not taking lessons and showing, I can afford some time and money to haul out and ride with her!

Michelle said...

And yes, she's good with other horses.

MyGypsyLife said...

Oh, that is good to hear! Yeah, it’s kind of sad because over here there is nothing competitive for English riding, but in someways I think that is good because it definitely saves in my pocketbook! Well, I’m not joking. If you ever needed a good home for her, we could turn her into a Kauai horse.🏝️💙🩷 I definitely have had to embrace trail riding!

A :-) said...

Well, I'm going to be interested to hear how Stella does with Endurance (I have no idea what that even is ;-D). I'm glad you've at least found someone to ride with. That will be (I hope) fun for all.